Who does not want to be a boss? Who does not want to be confident when he/she takes a new step? when giving his/her opinion, and when he/she talks, everyone in the room maintains silence and concentration?
Why? because that person is confident, that person is genuine, that person is independent.
In this article, I am going to mention some steps that will help you overcome dependence and take back control of yourself without fearing the risks.
1/Know yourself:
You can’t make your own decisions without knowing your likes, dislikes, goals.
You can’t know what is best for you and for your interests without knowing yourself.
If you’ve been feeling lost lately, then now is the best time to focus on yourself, to learn what you need, what you want, what you dream of.
Take few days to rest from social media, people, close yourself in your room, and just think meditate, write down notes, goals, write down what does not make you feel happy, what you are not satisfied with yourself, and find out how to change yourself to become a better version.
2/Make yourself uncomfortable:
Getting out of your comfortable helps you become independent you must be willing to take steps to get you out of the ordinary.
These Moments make your instincts Improvise And be obliged to find a way to avoid be uneasy feelings.
For example, I am still a new driver, I used to take the easiest Roads, but when I took another different Road where there are A lot of people walking, Or where the roads are narrow. I feel happiness and excitement not to mention that my confidence grows. yes, I was able to do it.
You might find it silly, but for me, it was a big step.
so try to get out of your comfort zone and trust your guts, because they will do their best to help you find a solution.
you don’t need to have everything planned as you want to.
For more help, small business trends give you 9 ways that will help you Get Out of Your Comfort Zone.
3/ Speak for yourself:
When I was with my friends, and one of my friends Had a problem, I used to wait for the rest to give their opinions, and then I gave mine or just agree. You might see it as a weakness, yes it can be, but, mostly, I was scared if I would hurt her/him. I didn't want it to come from me first.
The same thing, when we were planning to go out, I used to not give a suggestion, because I was afraid if they didn’t like it and would refuse it, so I was staying silent and wait for their suggestions, and then, I agree or just stay silent.
I knew this was wrong, I knew that I was helping myself to become weaker.
But what would it happen if I gave my honest opinion, or If they didn’t like my suggestions?
It is not the end of the world. i will give my arguments, and if they didn’t agree, then it is ok.
They know my intentions, and even if they didn’t i know my intentions and will defend them.
That was my rule, whether I am with my friends or with a group of people I barely know them.
if they asked me for my opinion, I will give them, even if I knew it would hurt,
what matters is being respectful and polite, and believe me, every time I speak the first or give a suggestion, I feel happy, confident, I feel proud that I could overcome one of my weaknesses.
So what are you waiting for to do the same? I am sure you want to feel this way too.
4/ Don’t wait for your superhero:
“I can only rely on myself”, that should be your trend,
Pretend you are in another country, or in another office with other colleagues, you don’t know anyone, you only have you and you.
It is all on your shoulders, and you don’t have anyone to ask for help, well actually you don’t need anyone.
Figure it out by yourself.
Stop seeking others’ help.
5/ Don’t let their expectations of you be all true:
“I am sure she won’t refuse, I am sure she won’t get worried, she won’t say anything I know her. I know you won’t say no that’s why I had done it”.
If you want to say no, then say it, if you are angry for something they did, then say it.
Don’t let them make your decisions in your place.
Don’t be what they expected, because they will control you, I know that because I’ve been there before.
My roommate took my stuff without asking for my permission because I was that quiet, polite girl that always says yes.
Well, in all of that, you are the only one who will lose, you might feel obliged to perform, to be that girl, but I guess this won’t make you happy.
So stop being what others think of you, be what you want to be, not what they want you to be.
If you think you will lose them if you become what they didn’t expect you to be, then they are not your friends. it is that easy, that simple.
If you want to act, then act authentically and be more true to yourself.
This is a huge step, in terms of gaining your independence.
6/ Assertiveness:
By being genuine, saying your real opinion, and sticking to it, you are beginning to become independent because you're not just trying to have everyone around you approval. Instead, you'll be comfortable doing what's best for you.
7/Give yourself emotional support:
Dependent people always seek external support, they wait for others to compliment them or help them in times of stress or pain.
Whereas independent people don’t wait for anyone, they comfort and support themselves.
They don’t avoid their feelings, instead, they get deep into them, they allow themselves to feel pain, to cry, to feel weak, but they don’t give up, they seek solutions to make these feelings temporary, they remind themselves how powerful they are, they remind themselves how obstacles they defeated, and that everything will change. They do all of that by themselves without waiting for someone.
And that is what you are going to do If you want to be independent.
These feelings of independence and confidence begin with the smallest steps, so don’t wait for the right moment or the right person, because there isn’t.
Just start now, begin with writing down your weaknesses and your strength and focus on your strength, and at the same time try to figure out how to control these weaknesses.
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